From Aloha to Dixie.

So, I went from the land of Lattes to the spirit of Aloha. It's been a rough transition... and I swear I will never return to this Island once I'm done here in August.

After I'm done, here I'll finally be able to actually be with Ranger Man, not just have a phone relationship with him. And we're headed to the heart of Dixie! I already told him that I'm going to have some funny sort of accent going on- as hard as I try, I can't help picking up some Hawaii-isms, and my mom is Southern, so I pick up that accent really quickly...

So to prepare myself for this, I'm reading Gone with the Wind. It is a lovely break from all of the dry academic reading that I have to do for school, and... I'm afraid that a rather Scarlett-inspired letter made its way to Ranger Man. I'm not sure how it's going to react to that. Either way, I like it and I'm enjoying it...

A place of my own!

I signed the lease today! I am officially living in the heart of the tourist district on the seventh floor of a condo building- all of which is completely new to me, but it will be my own space.

It is literally a second bedroom of a two bedroom condo that has its own entrance and little bathroom. (Read: TINY). But, I won't have to share my tiny space with anyone that I do not know, and it will be quiet, and there is a real bed. What more can a girl ask for? Well... maybe if Ranger Man lived there too... He will for three days though- at least three of our nine days together will be there, the other six will probably be in the much larger three bedroom condo that the icky roommates have already vacated... but we will be together for nine whole days. bliss.

Hopeful again

I am hopeful again, over the weekend I got quite a few prospects for places to live. Well, like four, which is four more than I had before the weekend. And one is a teeny-tiny studio- but it would be my space, no roommates. So I suppose that we'll see what happens.

I went to church with Auntie yesterday, and we had a wonderful breakfast at the Waioli Tea House, which was fantastic! I'm not usually big on eating... I can normally take it or leave it (which gives Ranger Man no end of worries when we're not together if I'm actually eating or not, I forget sometimes...) but it was really great, and quaint and sweet. I liked it.

Plus, it's hard to be sad when Ranger Man will be here at the end of the week. And then he's going to stay for 9 whole days. Apparently we're watching a lot of movies, he's been pre-screening them to see which ones are okay for me to watch (no bad dreams). What a guy.

I also got a couple great emails from one of my Soldiers' Angels soldiers, SSG Michael. He's a nice guy too, and today is his birthday! Happy Birthday SSG Michael!!

Opening Friday

... and I will not be going to see it. But, the NYT has reviewed the Kite Runner.

I do not have the 'gumption' to watch the movie, I am still trying to get over the nightmares it gave me.

I do like how this reviewer adds in the politics about the author, but am wondering where the boys are? And how they are anticipating the release?

I am interested in the movie, I'm curious as to how they did it.... but I don't think I'm brave enough to find out for myself.

Done.

I am officially done with everything for this semester. I have to go to class in a couple hours and turn in my ethics paper and actually have class (who does that during finals week?) but other than that, I am done. I just printed that ethics paper, and I am refusing to look at it any more. Everything else is done, I'm not doing anything else for school until Winter term starts on Monday.

Still not sure where I'm going to live... the place I really liked over the weekend fell through- they decided to "go with another renter." Which of course, is code for "we just didn't like you" maybe it's for the best, if they didn't like bookish me just looking at the apartment, when I really did move in and really do nothing but read for class all day they probably really wouldn't have liked that. But I do feel like it's getting down to the wire now. No place to live. yuck.

Just. Plain. Mean.

"Well, meet me at the Super-Secret-Army-Land Courthouse on Saturday and we'll just do it- we'll get married."

That's just mean. I dropped a little hint that the 2008 BAH rates had been released, and that's the response I got. (Note: Ranger Man currently does not get BAH... he's a barracks kind of a guy right now). Said Super-Secret-Army-Land Courthouse is on the other side of the Pacific Ocean from where I am right now... that's just mean. and to top it off, according to him, it's not mean, because it would only be mean if he was "completely joking" and so, by extension, he's not completely joking, so if I hopped on a plane this weekend... Mean. He knows very well that I am stuck on this Island because I can't afford to leave it.... Mean, Mean, Mean.

So I told him that, while I'm madly in love with him and all, I just don't like him very much right now because he's being mean. He thought that was rather humorous.

Christmas.

This will be the first Christmas Ranger Man and I have together- as a together. We were 'friends' last Christmas, but I was still convinced (unlike him, thank goodness he's persistent) that 'friends' was all we were ever going to be.

So this Christmas is our first, and by a minor miracle, we will be together (really together) for it. Mr. Scrooge himself even made a point yesterday that we had to have a tree of some sorts ("what else are we going to put presents under?"), which was a little unlike him.

It's also special because my birthday is Christmas Eve, so we'll be together for my birthday too- how cool is it to wake up on your birthday to see your guy?

We don't have any Christmas traditions, simply because we've never had a Christmas. And I doubt, that being on a tropical Island, this one will be anything close to typical. But at least we'll be together. Shoot, I don't even know where I'm going to be living (I haven't heard back from the place from yesterday, I'm thinking that's a bad sign)- I may very well be moving my books onto the beach somewhere... Do you think they have wireless internet at the beach? But at least he'll be there, and I'll be there, and I won't have to go through any of this alone anymore. Or at least, for nine days.

Home Stretch

I officially have rough drafts of all my papers done- one paper is actually done and turned in. One will be done and turned in Tomorrow, and then one more Tuesday and the last on Thursday.
I may have found a place to live that is about four hundred dollars per month cheaper than where I am right now (yes, you read that right, and yes, that is a lot of money).
Less than two weeks until Ranger Man is here...

Omaha.

I feel that while I certainly have nothing constructive or helpful in this tragedy- I do understand better than most that situation.

I was working at the Tacoma Mall in Tacoma, WA in November of 2005, when the "Tacoma Mall Shooting" occurred. Right around Thanksgiving time, a guy came into the mall, the wing with Santa to take pictures with and the Build-A-Bear shop mind you, and opened fire on a Sunday morning. I am thankful that I was in a different wing, but I will never forget what it's like to first of all have people come through your store saying there is a man with guns shooting people outside, and then to have the SWAT guys come into the store and tell everyone to get out (As a caveat, I will also not forget that they told us to keep working- they'd shut the big glass doors, cause that will keep out the AK rounds, and for customers to continue shopping).

I didn't know what was going on, exactly in the interim, but I did make sure to call my parents and my (at the time) boyfriend (who didn't bother to answer... good thing we're not together anymore!) and try to let them know that if they were watching tv I was okay...

I think what I remember most is the Emergency response people setting up triage points and then the big Mobile Command busses coming through. All the while just waiting, and not knowing.

We were lucky in Tacoma, our shooter didn't kill anyone. My heart goes out to those people in Omaha, and I am so sad for them.

Nametape.

I borrowed a book from Ranger Man (sidenote, how cool is it that he just happened to have a book lying around that I needed for one of my papers?!), so he sent it to me through the mail. Inside the pages of the book he placed one of his nametapes.

I'm not sure why that is the most precious thing that anyone has ever given me, I think it has something to do with the simplicity of the gesture and the knowledge that he did it with suc love, knowing that such a simple thing had the ability to give me such comfort. And it does. It is a tangible piece of him, one that can go with me everywhere and I can touch and feel and hold when he's not around to touch and feel and hold. I think it was a wonderful thing for him to give to me.

On the bright side (and also the stressful side)- this time next week I will officially be done with my first semester of grad school! eek!

Perspective

Last night I dreamed that the house was on fire. The house the Ranger Man and I lived in (which of course doesn't exist, there is no such house), at least I thought it was on fire. When I, in my dream, alerted Ranger Man to the fact that our house was on fire, he took appropriate actions to rectify the situation, which apparently entailed notifying his chain of command. When this was accomplished, and certain members of his chain of command showed up at this mythical house that Ranger Man and I shared, it turns out that I was mistaken, the house was not, in fact, on fire.

It was hard to be bummed out this morning when I woke up and the apartment building was still standing and had not burned to the ground. We had no power, thanks to some heavy winds all night long, but there was no fire, so I gained some perspective. I also told Ranger Man that it might be a good idea to double check me if I ever try to tell him the house is on fire.

Grump and Stuff.

There is so much- I'm not sure where to begin.

Truly, I hate it here, but at the same time, I have to at the very least try to make it through to August. Which means I have to get my butt in gear and find a new place to live. But that means that I truly have to stay, so every fiber of my being is resisting having a place to live. ugh.

I can't get excited about seeing Ranger man partly because I know that he's just going to leave again, and I'm going to be alone again. I know that is a really crappy attitude, but... I am so tired of being alone.

I know this is gloomy and grumpy- but honestly... I don't know how to be any other way right now. I should be thankful that Ihave a place to live until the end of the month, and that there are people who love me. I know that I am at graduate school, and I want to be at graduate school. What I don't know is if I can do this by myself.