Merry Christmas

(or, if you're like me... Happy Birthday!)




As I was cleaning this week, my suitcase was out in the middle of the living room floor- Webster fell in and had a great time playing inside the suitcase. The next few days are going to be busy! Meeting my dad/Grandma/Brother for birthday lunch then heading an hour south to have Christmas with L's family- then back up here to have Christmas with my family at my house on Saturday.

I knitted every single Christmas gift that I'm giving this year, so I'm really excited to cast on something for myself today. I'm thinking a Pogona- my bosses at the yarn shop actually gave me some yarn for my birthday/Christmas- so I may use the skein of Casacade Heritage they gave me and then I can wear something new to work. I sense a mass cast on coming on!

I know that this might be a bit dodgy or cliche- but, if you're reading this, I want to say thank you. The last few years haven't been the easiest for me and blogging, and the bloggish friends that I've made have helped me so much. Thanks everyone for being so wonderful, and have a great Weekend no matter what you might or might not be celebrating this weekend!

Still Alive.

Although barely, it seems sometimes... It's funny easy it is to forget how hard grad school it.

It's also funny how much of a difference a really great support system makes- which is one of the reasons I haven't needed to blog so much lately, between being so close to my family and the Boyfriend- I've just been too happy and contented to feel the need to blog!



Webster got into a fight with a pomegranate seed the other night, and it looked like he was all bloody for days afterwards. It was hilarious.

Another reason for my contentedness: The view from my new apartment.



Ah, beautiful sunsets over the water.

Also, I've been knitting, although not nearly as much as usual.

Pineapple Upside Down Hat (test-knit):



Papers are going to be due soon- blogging may be part of my strategy to write more. We'll see. I hope everyone is having an amazing fall- I know I am!

My life, coming true.

This has been the best week ever. I'm exhausted and stressed, but it's all good stress and it's all awesome things.

This is what happens when your dreams start to come true!

First of all - my little man is doing well. In fact, here he is enjoying a pile of yarn in my house!



The boyfriend is also amazing, although he is younger-cousin sitting this week, so I haven't seen to much of him.

On to the good news:

I'd been wanting to move to the South side of my town- it's where I grew up, it's where the yarn shop is that I work at, it's where my new school is, it's where the Boyfriend lives and works... you get the idea. When I moved back home, I moved to the North end of town because it was cheaper and I needed a place fast.

Last week I realized that, with school starting in the fall, it didn't make much sense at all for me to continue my full-time position with the construction company in the next county over. Too much time commuting, too many work hours and too much stress. Plus, the shop owners were willing to give me a raise, increase my hours (from 5 per week- not difficult!), and contribute to a health insurance program. Sweet deal, right? So I started looking for a new apartment and began to dread telling my current bosses that I was leaving.

So I started combing Craigslist, and on Monday I went to look at The.Perfect.Apartment. Its on the south end of town, right across the street from one of my favorite parks. It's got a view of the ocean, a cute walkway and it's an adorably charming old building with tilty floors. It's perfect.
I get the keys tomorrow.

Also on monday, one of my favorite authors (academically) was in town giving a book talk. And I heard from one of my old students from Georgia- which nearly made me cry.

So- this all happened on Monday, and that would have been plenty of wonderful things for one week. I was getting so excited about moving, preparing to start school again and beginning a new stage in my life.

Then, I got an email from my school. They're offering me a full graduate assistantship.

What does that mean? It means that they're going to pay all but 10% of my tuition. It means that they're going to give me a stipend. It means that I will have health care... all in exchange for teaching, grading and/or researching. Completely amazing. This is what I want- I want to work in higher ed, I want to teach... this is step number one. My life- the things that I want for my life- are all coming true.

I'm still kind of in shock. It's completely unexpected as a first year student at this school- which is like all schools experiencing severe budget cuts. Now- I get to go to school, get paid for it, and play with yarn for fun... My life is about to be completely awesome.

Kitty Blogging!

I have a post coming. Be patient. But I don't want to jinx anything, so I'm not blogging about anything just yet.

My life has been kind of slow and boring, working 7 days a week will kill the blogging mojo, let me tell you what.

Besides the doing nothing but working, I received the latest draft of my thesis back this week with what will hopefully be the last set of revisions. Chapters 3 and 4 (i.e. half the thesis) are structurally unsound and will need serious re-writing. The good news is that the information and source material is good- it's just my writing that was bad, so I'm working on that as well.

So... not much to blog about.

I have been knitting. Here's the lil man helping me with with my version of the Brandywine Shawl:



He looks so sweet and innocent in pictures... I wish I could capture the mischievous glint in his eyes sometime.

Sir Shedsalot, for your viewing pleasure...

Since you asked for it...




Sir Shedsalot himself, looking regal.

Today was a completely awesome day- working at the shop was super slow, so I just sat outside in the sun and knit all day. I actually got quite the sunburn from knitting.

I also got to watch the world go by, and got lots of fun Knit-In-Public comments...

One passerby: "You've got the right idea!"

I watched a seven year old belt out Johnny Cash, and had this befuddling exchange:

Well Meaning Guy: It's a great day for outdoor knitting!
Me: It's a WONDERFUL day for outdoor knitting!
Well Meaning Guy: [something indiscernible], Good Luck!
Me: (in my head) do I look like I'm about to stab myself? What do I need luck for?

Knitting in Public... it's never dull.

Tuscany on the Town

Going out on a date means... An opportunity to wear my knitting!







Tuscany's date night debut!


Handsome's been hanging out under the covers, in the meantime.

It's Monday!

I've been hiding from my blog because I just don't know what to say! Dating and working full time is seriously cutting into my knitting time, and I'm not sure I'm ready to blog about the details of the dating. So, I'll distract you with a picture of a snail!



It's not too bad for an iPhone picture, right?

And the little man (ignore my legs in the background...)




He's so furry and adorable!

I may have knitting by the end of the week. It's a slim possibility. I have lots of WIPs, but nothing done. I will tell you that Mr. Naval Aviation Officer passed the knitting in public test- We went to see a movie after dinner last weekend, and he drove us to my apartment on the way to the theater to pick up my knitting, and then sat with me knitting in the theater, with my yarn in his lap, feeding the yarn out to me. Y'all know that's my favorite thing ever...

Happy Monday, everybody... Happy Monday.

Lessons Learned

Let's start out with a picture of the very special dog I alluded to before...



Meet Sierra. One of the soldiers I was writing to with Soldiers' Angels, Travis, just brought her home from Afghanistan. He found her when she was a teeny tiny puppy, hiding in a ditch that he was using for cover during a "little firefight." They brought her back to their base and he did a lot of work to be able to keep her, and then to get her back home to him.

I'm knitting her a blanket, because I think she needs as much love as possible. I'm making a big squishy striped garter stitch blanket out of Lion Brand Thick and Quick.

Things I've learned this weekend:

If you're going on a first date, don't rest your forehead on your steering wheel before you go inside to meet your date, especially if your steering wheel cover is bumpy. You'll end up with a line of bumps down the middle of your forehead.

Also, if you're going on a first date, you should try not to knee yourself in the eye that afternoon. Black eyes are not attractive, although they do make a good ice breaker.

Things Webster has learned this weekend:

While it is fun to lick up all the shower water after the shower is over- it's best to stay out of the shower while the water is still running. Webster nearly took a shower of his own today, which I think would have had disastrous consequences. Luckily, he realized that the water was coming down still and didn't manage to get all the way through the shower curtain.

The accountant guy from last night? Didn't have a chance after Naval Aviation Officer from the night before...

Weekly Update:

Today's weekly update will include:

Webster (of course), writing, knitting and a short segment on transitioning back into civilian life.

So, as I posted earlier, I finally turned in the first complete draft of my thesis. I'm not finished yet, but I am hopefully very close. Now, if we can just convince my advisors to read the gargantuan monstrosity... then we'll be doing even better.

Webster had a good week- we didn't do anything terribly exciting, but I was home for much of the afternoons/evenings this week so he was happy.



Here he is deciding which book to read next- surveying my bookcase making skills.

I'm almost done with my Citron, although sadly I have no pictures. I'm trying to figure out what dto do about my sweater- as there will be a mad rush to finish both this weekend.

I have my next project picked out- the Geodesic cardigan from the latest knitscene. I just happen to have two skeins of malabrigo laceweight in my stash, and the 60 degree weather we've been having lately is leaving me longing for sundresses and lightweight cardigans (I know, the el nino summer here in the PNW is not going to be conducive to that, but... a girl can dream, right?)

And on transitioning back into civilian life and civilian relationships...

I find that I am still highly sensitive to people complaining about their spouses- especially complaining about 'how hard' it is if their spouses are gone for a night or two. Ugh. Give me a break. I truly hope that this feeling never leaves, and that I am able to appreciate that people are around forever. On the other side of this coin, I have a hard time not thinking that people are about to leave all the time. It is very strange to me that ManCandy doesn't need to spend every waking moment with me... because he's still going to live ten minutes away tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day. He can also take his cell phone to work with him and tell me about his job. It's totally bizaare.

Also in breaking news about the Civilian World... "stinky" does not mean the same thing. Stinky to me is when you've been in the field for three weeks with only one uniform in 100 degree weather with 100% humidity. Stinky is also the boonie cap that you wore throughout your year long desert deployment and didn't wash because it was unlucky. When you're a merchandiser and you've worn your uniform for two days in a row in 50 degree weather... that does not qualify as stinky to me. Maybe a little less than clean- but "stinky?" Not so much.

Weekly update (minus serious talk!)

Weekly Update:

Since Holly wants to know about Webster, we'll start out with him today!



As you can see by him sitting on my shoulder, he is doing very well. It's been so warm here lately that the birds are coming out (there was a beautiful Blue Jay outside our window on Sunday), so he's been having a great time chasing the birds through the window.

The highlight of last week/this week was definitely taking a trip to Vancouver on Sunday to check out the Olympic festivities. It was awesome! The city was so packed and there was such amazing positive energy (we didn't see any protesters), it was so amazing. There were athletes walking about in the streets with their team clothes on, and it was so awesome to see everything.



The Olympic Flame! Hooray, there it is!

Also, here's a picture (from a ways away) of Olympic Village:



You can almost make out the infamous kangaroo flag on the Australian bloc.

I had an awesome time.

And then, there has been some knitting. Actually, there's been quite a bit of knitting, but I'll just share one picture today:

My ravelympics project/lace KAL project:



Citron in progress, and another Webster shot!

Those are all the exciting bits for now. Have a great week everyone!

2 dilemmas

It shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone that I am extremely non-confrontational, and that my usual coping strategy is avoidance- when my parents split up, I moved to Georgia partly just to avoid having to deal with it.

Well, now, here I am- unable to avoid any longer. So, here's a quandry... In applying for my apartment, I thought I would need a cosigner, so my dad applied as well (as the cosigner). Turns out, I have enough in my savings account that I don't actually need a cosigner. I found this out because they ran a credit check and my dad's credit literally didn't make the cut. So... my biggest quandry of the day was: do I tell my dad that when my mom left him, she tanked his credit score, or do I simply tell him that I didn't end up needing a cosigner.

I opted for the latter, mostly to keep the yelling to a minimum. It was selfish, and I'm afraid that it will end up being the wrong decision- but I'd rather make the wrong decision in my own apartment (and thus, have the ability to avoid) then tell him now and not be able to get away from him. I'm totally a wimp. And now I want to see my mom even less than I did before.

Much less of a moral dillema is my more frivolous quandry. My new/old work Christmas party is this Saturday... should I go? There has been complete (I mean, 100%) office staff turnover in the almost-3 years that I've been gone, so I'll know few people there. It would be a good opportunity to make new friends, but I'll be spending the entire day moving my stuff (and not knowing where my clothes are), and don't have a date to take to offset my painful shyness around strangers. Seriously? It's not necessary to blush when someone asks you where you went to school. It's not a blush-worthy questions. I wish I could get that through to the part of my brain that controls blushing.

And, just for kicks... Here's Webster enjoying the snuggie (wtf?) we got from my mom for Christmas. He likes it. A lot. I've been using at as a blanket (i.e., without the sleeves)- and every time I bring it out, this is what he does:



must. stay. awake... fail.

Why I'm not more productive

This is what happens when I try to write:




Notice how he's helpfully sitting on top of both my drafts/notes pile *and* my computer, all at the same time.

So helpful!

It's a wrap.

Driving across the country was probably one of the most empowering experiences of my life. Not that I want to do it again, or that I think anyone who's feeling low should hop in a car... but in my situation, it worked wonders. I navigated myself across completely unknown territory, literally taking control of my life and moving forward.

Here's one of the only pictures I took on our trip- Webster perched in a hotel room in California.



So I drove and felt happy and accomplished and proud of myself.

Then... we got here.

Ugh. All of my belongings, me, Webster, a cot to sleep on, random other stuff and my brother's computer/computer desk all shoved into one teeny tiny little bedroom. And of course, no more cleaning has occurred.

Finding an affordable apartment here that (a) takes cats and (b) doesn't require a 12 month lease is proving to be a very difficult task. I got SO frustrated today, but then I went and fondled some yarn at TWO local yarn stores which made me feel better. (Yay! There are yarn stores here!)
I've got an apartment to view a studio tomorrow, so cross your fingers that it will work out, or really, that something will work out.

Mostly though, other than the frustration, I still feel really great. I may not have as much as I had when Ranger Man was providing every thing for me, but at least what I have is truly mine, and I have to work for it. I'm in control now, not any one else. I do what's best for me and for Webster, and I truly believe that was coming home. Plus, I am grateful (even if it doesn't sound like it) that my dad let me come here. Not everyone even has a little room to share with a cat and a computer. I am lucky.

For tomorrow... the tale of the immense gratification when your ex-boyfriend from when you were a senior in High School really does look you up 7 years later. I *told* him that he wouldn't be able to stop thinking about me! Hahaha. stay tuned.

Would that be weird?

First of all, Thank You.

Thanks to those who wrote wonderful comments on my last post. I'm seriously considering printing out and keeping them with me in my wallet as an instant pick-me-up. Would that be weird? You are wonderful people and you said EXACTLY what I needed to hear.

In the meantime, I almost feel as though I'm in an alternate universe here sometimes. Most of the time it seems so surreal- to be leaving here and leaving everything... And then other times, mostly briefly, the reality sets in and it just feels sad.

It's strange. It's not a hard decision to make, and for the most part I feel completely confident that I'm making the right decision. So HARD isn't a good description. It just feels sad- sad to put so much energy and time and emotion into something that won't exist in a few weeks.

And then, of course, there's the guilt. How is it that I'm the one leaving to pursue my own life that's been put on hold, but yet I am the one that feels guilty? He's deploying and I'm leaving in rapid succession, and it feels terrible to be leaving him then. Logically I know that he's a big boy and he'll deal with it just fine- but I feel like a jerk for having to clean out the kitchen and cancel the cable and all that other stuff that comes with prolonged absence. That's not my responsibility anymore, I know... but it still makes me feel like a jerk.

This long, drawn out break-up process is very odd. And it doesn't help that I'm getting mildly panic-y about my applications that are due next month.

Obligatory Webster picture:



Helping to put together a dresser from IKEA. This begs for an LOLCats style caption, doesn't it?

So, in short, we're plugging away in a strange world. Prepping applications, planning a road trip across the country with a cat and all the while doing Christmas knitting.

Outsmarting Webster

I've outsmarted the cat!

Before Webster flew out to GA last summer, I bought him a new cat-bed. It was very cute and I thought for sure it would be cozy and cat-friendly. His old cat bed is pretty raggedy, and it was before it made the cross-country trip. His old bed is ratty and covered in cat hair (despite regular vacuuming) and made out of foam that I'm frankly surprised still holds its shape. The new bed is lovely and has gold embroidery and is just the right size for him.

Of course, Webster has been here for almost a year now and he hadn't touched the new bed, until tonight when I finally figured out how to trick him into using this lovely new bed. Gosh, it is a sad commentary on the state of my weekend that tricking the cat is the highlight and breaks a slight blogging hiatus...

Webster loves slightly used towels, and if I throw a towel that I've used in the hallway floor instead of in the laundry basket, he will be happy for days (or until I actually clean and move the towel).

So- my brilliance led me to combine the two tonight- the towel that I know he does love and the bed that I want him to love. I put the bed in front of the television, where he likes to hang out anyways, and covered it with my favorite green towel, and waited.

Sure enough- it worked! He's sleeping on it as I type! I am brilliant! Muahahaha, I have outsmarted Webster the Wonder Cat!

2 things

First of all, I ate today. Yay. I had ice cream for dinner after my dance class, but I figure it's a start. And there were nuts in the ice cream, so that's protein and protein is healthy, right? **

Secondly, on my way home from class, I couldn't figure out why there were a hundred cars lined up at the post office. I didn't realize what was going on until I got home and was inundated with CNN stories about Tea Parties. I always finish my taxes right away, because of FAFSAs and things like that, but I would like to say that waiting until 9pm on the day they're due is some intense procrastination. WAY too much stress for me, but obviously it's working for a lot of people. It just struck me as being very, very interesting.

That's all. Nothing deep or even exciting. Just a couple thoughts that I've had this afternoon. Move along. Wait... I feel guilty for such a vapid post. I'm going to distract you with a picture of a cat in a bag.



Please disregard the stacks of shoe boxes (I swear- those are Ranger Man's- it's a stack of shoe boxes, with shoes, that comes up past my waist. The man has shoes) and the piles of paper. They're no longer in the middle of my living room, I promise. They're tucked away neatly in our closet.

** Editing this to clarify that I ate more than ice cream today. I had a real lunch, and a granola bar too. And coffee and orange juice. Darn, that still doesn't look like enough. I'll try to eat more tomorrow.

here there and everywhere

I feel no blog-motivation. I have tons of motivation for other stuff, just not blogging. I just don't feel reflective or venty or ranty or anything like that. It's actually quite nice, I've slipped into a nice little groove and for the first time since I moved here, I feel like I have my emotions and my body under control. Accordingly, less need for blogging I guess.

Ohh, look- yarn to distract you!



I ordered myself a valentine's day kit from Woolgirl. This was obviously before I knew about the camel yarn. This was the yarn in the kit- It's Madelinetosh Sock in the "Valentine" colorway. It's very pink and cheery.

Also, be distracted by Sir Shedsalot here:



That's a stack of (copies of) documents from the National Security archive about US Public Diplomacy in Iran in the 1950s that he's practically sitting on, in case anyone is wondering. There is much archive-sifting in my future.

As far as actual knitting goes- I think I'm going to frog the sweater (can you all tell I'm a process knitter?). It's too big, and while I could still wear it around the house and stuff, I don't think I would ever wear it out in public, and I'm not sure it's worth packing around for all that. Because you know I will treasure my first sweater forever and it's not like we don't move very often. So if I'm going to pack something over and over again, I want to be able to at least wear it. I haven't frogged it yet, I'm stockpiling bravery, and I may need a glass of wine or two.

And as far as Ranger Man goes... He got to call this weekend! It's nice to talk to him on the phone once every few weeks. Also- whatever black hole had been sucking up his mail finally got unstuck and he got a whole bunch of letters all at once, so hopefully his mail is getting through now. That means I can start writing letters again.

I guess I had more to say than I thought. Although it's not exactly a cohesive subject, but luckily for me it's my blog and I can do that if I want.

Week in Review

Finals week at work has thus far been interesting, and there are two days left (Thursday and Monday).

The ethics class has the opportunity to submit their final essays early and compete in an ethics essay contest- the winner of which gets some token prize. I am one of the lucky ones that gets to grade the essays... h.o.l.y.c.o.w. painful experience.

Thankfully, the prof took pity on us graders and only sent us the 9 "best" essays out of the 23 that were submitted. I made sure to thank her for that as the 9 "best" were all still pretty terrible. There were one or two that may have been OK, C type papers, but they were the best of the bunch. One of the papers didn't mention ETHICS at.all. It was probably the most well-written essay and easiest to read, but it had nothing to do with ethics, which is what the paper was supposed to be about.

There's also been a gaggle of rumors flying around that were addressed in an SGA meeting, so now I get to meet with them and explain why you can't discuss rumors in an official capacity in an open forum meeting on campus.

The powers that be decided that it would be fun to do a new student orientation during all of this and while classes are still in session. So yesterday was filled with botched orientations. (13 is not a small group of students when I only have 11 chairs in the library).

Blegh. How's that for a bunch of complaining? On the good side: I'm working on a new sock. I have a (very) rough timeline for when Ranger Man might be coming home. I'm a little bit ahead in my readings for class. Oh- and it looks like I may get to teach one class during the fall! yay!

Gratuitous Adorable Webster Picture (From us taking a nap a couple weekends ago)
Edit: You can totally see the thumb on his paw in this picture. My cat is cool because he has opposable thumbs!



One more day and it's the weekend! Finally!

I'm becoming Georgified.

I said "yes ma'am" to my grandma on the phone last night.

She laughed at me. (and, yay! she's going to come visit me in a few weeks. She is 82 years of spunk and drive, I'm going to be exhausted by the time she leaves!)

Unrelated to Georgia:

Webster's daily dose of reading aloud last night? Elizabeth Zimmerman. Well-informed kitty indeed.

Well-Informed Cat.

I believe I may have an extraordinarily well-informed cat. In fact, in matters relating to Foreign Policy, Webster might possibly be more well-read than the soon-to-be First Puppy (shouldn't First Pets be informed?).

Rather than dense IR theory, I've been reading a lot of documents lately. Documents that I've of course read before, but need to read again to place them in a new context- and there are some words that just need to be read aloud. The "I Have a Dream" speech, the Declaration of Independence, NSC-68... you get the picture. So I read to the cat. He no longer looks at me like I'm crazy, which he most certainly did the first few times. There's still some theory- and when it's dense enough that it needs to be read aloud to be understood, I read that to him too. Or if there's something especially profound or enlightening. Poor cat. He'll know what to say if any Foreign Policy questions ever come up in conversation though. He's getting quite bright, that cat...

Sometimes I think it's a good thing Ranger Man isn't around very often- I would probably drive him batty.

Oh- and the sweater? I'm still stuck. I messaged the designers on Ravelry to see if they can help (thanks Cookie!) but I may have to do the sleeves with DPNs because that's the only way that makes sense to me. Urgh. At least that way I wouldn't have to seam anything, right?