Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Not posting

I'm not posting because I don't have anything good to say. The happiness about being able to wear my socks lasted all of about 10 minutes and since then all I can think about is going home to Georgia. And most people who have been to Georgia will probably attest to the fact that me wanting to go back there is a testament to just how miserable I am here.

I started a post the other day, but I have a feeling it is pretty whiney, so I didn't post it. I keep telling Ranger Man that it wouldn't be so bad being here where EVERYTHING is 100% different than what I've known before if at least what I knew before still existed. Or, if he weren't a different person when he was around his parents. Not different in a bad way, just different from when we're along (duh, right?) but it's just more that's different and that makes it even harder.

And then Loquita wrote something today that reminded me why else I'm so miserable:

This is it, as soon as we get home from what feels (to me) like the trip from hell, he's going to be gone. I have no idea how long he'll be gone, I have no idea where he's going, and I have no idea what he's doing other than he needs a beard to do it. And he's been gone... and now we're here... and then he's going to be gone again.

I want to have a selfish ME!ME!ME!ME! pity party right now. So I just stay cooped up in one little bedroom, and he says I'm being anti-social, but I figure that's better than what I see as the probably alternatives which are a) bursting into tears at random intervals b) opening my mouth and saying something to someone I'll really regret, or c) making some sort of huge social faux pas that seems likely because I've never felt more like a backwards country-bumpkin before in my life.

OMG- she just took our dirty clothes. You've got to be kidding me. She does not need to wash my underwear. I feel like I'm in hell. What am I supposed to do, say um, no, don't wash my underwear? And how on Earth did he tell her that was all right? He knows that I don't like washing my clothes in the laundry mat because I hate it when other people SEE my underwear. So letting someone touch my underwear is okay? AAAACK.

For not posting, this sure was long.

1 comment:

loquita said...

Oh man, I have almost posted that whole "look at us and no post-holiday deployment" spiel before, but I held back b/c I knew others were up against that and I didn't want to rub it in, so to speak... Ack - sorry. :(

If you need an excuse to escape to a suburban bookstore / coffeeshop / Panera to do some reading, let me know and I can arrange to meet up on Friday or Saturday. :) Just tell them a completely hysterical military wife-to-be needs to be talked off the wedding planning ledge. :-p

But seriously, if I can do anything to help out, please let me know. I have been there in that crappy place right before a deployment, and I imagine its even worse for you with so many factors in the equation unknown. *hugs*