Overheard at the library. Ranty Edition.

O.M.G.

re: Chris Brown (A conversation between two women. MOTHERS, no less)

"It takes two" "She ain't so innocent herself" "I heard she swung first" "they need to leave him alone."

I will admit to not paying a whole lot of attention to the situation. But even so, he sent her to the HOSPITAL. No wonder domestic violence is so prevalent with attitudes like this. No matter who "swung first," the fact that she needed to go to the hospital signals that something VERY, VERY WRONG happened.

And for these women to sit here in the library, discussing how what he did wasn't really that bad? He HIT her. HIT her. How can that not be that bad? And how can you, as mothers, be willing to accept the idea that hitting your partner is okay, no matter who started it?

Wow. Sorry. Apparently I needed to vent. With capital letters.

Let me reiterate: Hitting your partner is not okay. Sending your partner to the hospital is not okay. Legitimizing and Justifying the actions of a role model/celebrity who did so is not okay.

vent over. phew.

The fight that was not a fight.

First of all- the feared "fight" never materialized. Concerns were discussed (as much as they can be via email) and addressed satisfactorily.

Second of all- to clarify, I feel that it is somewhat of a luxury (if not always a welcome luxury) that I can worry about whether to address my concerns with Ranger Man or not. He's essentially a desk jockey over there and doesn't go outside the wire. If he was, I would not be even considering talking to him about my little worries while he's gone. Sometimes it's worse that we have relatively normal email conversation, without any real normality.

Third of all, here's a pretty picture from FDR's Little White House in Warm Springs, GA that my grandma and I visited when she was here. She's old enough to remember FDR, so it was something she really wanted to see. This is one of the pillars from the Little White House, I loved the vine.



And another picture of the house:



And the wishing well on the grounds:



Very pretty. It was a hazy, dreary day- which are my favorite kinds of days. They have character, sunny days don't have much character. This weekend has been extraordinarily dreary also- rain, rain and more rain. I figured out how to knit the border onto my shawl, so I'm trucking along with that quite nicely while the thunder rolls. I have also found out that it is nearly impossible to nap through a thunderstorm (although cats seem to be immune to this problem- Webster has super napping ability).

Lost my groove.

I know I posted that I wasn't being reflective or venty about two hours ago, but two hours can be a long time!

So I find myself with a question, one that I'm sure many others deal with too. Obviously, Ranger Man and I have a long-distance relationship. He's a.l.w.a.y.s. gone. So, when things come up, "waiting until he comes home" really isn't an option. Because he'll only be home for 2 weeks, and then he'll be gone again.

How, then, do I deal with conflict? When something happens that bothers me, what do I address, what do I 'let go'?

I'm not good at bottling things inside. Which, in the long run, is probably good- but in the short term it means I have a big mouth, and if things bother me, I have to address them.

So my quandry (my eternal quandry), is what do I do when something is bothering me, but I know that addressing it will cause 'a fight', or an argument? Do I get into a long distance argument? Do I dismiss it? Do I let it keep bothering me but keep it to myself?

Something happened today, and I immediately reacted to it in a non-accusatory but still "please stop that" way, knowing full well that it's going to result in a 'fight.' BUT- it's something that's been bothering me, in a twingy sort of way for a long time that just became not a twinge anymore. It's also something that I don't feel I'm being unreasonable about (although Ranger Man is sure to feel differently). So I sent a message, saying, "Darling, I love you dearly, but I need you to stop doing xxx, it kind of hurts my feelings." (I'm leaving the xxx out for now). Ranger Man is sure to respond with "You're overreacting, I'm not doing anything wrong, you're trying to be too controlling and jealous." (can you tell we've had this argument before?)

My answer for today was that I had to address it. It's been a little bit of a bother for a while, but it exploded into full-fledged concern and serious discomfort today. I had to do something about it, but I'm dreading the thought of the fight as much as I dread the thought of it happening again.

My second question for the day is this: Are non-long distance relationships easier? Because I really think I would like to try that now.

Darn, I lost my groove.

here there and everywhere

I feel no blog-motivation. I have tons of motivation for other stuff, just not blogging. I just don't feel reflective or venty or ranty or anything like that. It's actually quite nice, I've slipped into a nice little groove and for the first time since I moved here, I feel like I have my emotions and my body under control. Accordingly, less need for blogging I guess.

Ohh, look- yarn to distract you!



I ordered myself a valentine's day kit from Woolgirl. This was obviously before I knew about the camel yarn. This was the yarn in the kit- It's Madelinetosh Sock in the "Valentine" colorway. It's very pink and cheery.

Also, be distracted by Sir Shedsalot here:



That's a stack of (copies of) documents from the National Security archive about US Public Diplomacy in Iran in the 1950s that he's practically sitting on, in case anyone is wondering. There is much archive-sifting in my future.

As far as actual knitting goes- I think I'm going to frog the sweater (can you all tell I'm a process knitter?). It's too big, and while I could still wear it around the house and stuff, I don't think I would ever wear it out in public, and I'm not sure it's worth packing around for all that. Because you know I will treasure my first sweater forever and it's not like we don't move very often. So if I'm going to pack something over and over again, I want to be able to at least wear it. I haven't frogged it yet, I'm stockpiling bravery, and I may need a glass of wine or two.

And as far as Ranger Man goes... He got to call this weekend! It's nice to talk to him on the phone once every few weeks. Also- whatever black hole had been sucking up his mail finally got unstuck and he got a whole bunch of letters all at once, so hopefully his mail is getting through now. That means I can start writing letters again.

I guess I had more to say than I thought. Although it's not exactly a cohesive subject, but luckily for me it's my blog and I can do that if I want.

Google WIN!

This is the best hit from Google I've ever gotten.

I'm stuck at work tonight, doing a leadership retreat for some students and missing a really cool field trip to a new yarn store, but this search totally cracks me up- full of win.

The search term? (For those not willing to click through...)

"soldiers make better lovers"

So much fun!

I just got home from my first-ever belly dance class! It was so much fun! I've never taken a dance class before (well, maybe when I was 5 I took ballet, but that was it), so it was hard, but it was a ton of fun, I can't wait until next week to go back!

Question

For all you work-out/creative types (two things that are not usually combined, but I know that there are both people that are fitness crazy and people that are creative that stop by here every once in a while, and this venture combines both. Perfect!)

I'm the team captain of an inter-campus fitness challenge thingy at work- basically people sign up to be on the team and then track the miles that they run/walk/cycle/whatever.

I want to somehow visually track people's progress in the staff lounge so there's some motivation- but I know that we're going to have people who struggle to get in 2 miles each week, and others that are going to do upwards of 20 miles each week, so I don't want to just have a number of miles race to the end of the timeline- I want to somehow represent that each participant is working hard and accomplishing something important to them.

I have some little sneakers to use for place markers to represent each participant, now I just need to figure out what I can measure and represent in public that is going to be motivating for everyone. Perhaps something cumulative to emphasize that it's a team effort? (the mileage gets averaged together each week). Maybe we need to set some sort of group mileage goal or something? Or the number of times per week the participants run/walk/cycle? What would be motivating, but not time consuming? I thought about asking them to set weekly goals, but that would be too much effort I think.

Any suggestions?