Monday, November 16, 2009

Would that be weird?

First of all, Thank You.

Thanks to those who wrote wonderful comments on my last post. I'm seriously considering printing out and keeping them with me in my wallet as an instant pick-me-up. Would that be weird? You are wonderful people and you said EXACTLY what I needed to hear.

In the meantime, I almost feel as though I'm in an alternate universe here sometimes. Most of the time it seems so surreal- to be leaving here and leaving everything... And then other times, mostly briefly, the reality sets in and it just feels sad.

It's strange. It's not a hard decision to make, and for the most part I feel completely confident that I'm making the right decision. So HARD isn't a good description. It just feels sad- sad to put so much energy and time and emotion into something that won't exist in a few weeks.

And then, of course, there's the guilt. How is it that I'm the one leaving to pursue my own life that's been put on hold, but yet I am the one that feels guilty? He's deploying and I'm leaving in rapid succession, and it feels terrible to be leaving him then. Logically I know that he's a big boy and he'll deal with it just fine- but I feel like a jerk for having to clean out the kitchen and cancel the cable and all that other stuff that comes with prolonged absence. That's not my responsibility anymore, I know... but it still makes me feel like a jerk.

This long, drawn out break-up process is very odd. And it doesn't help that I'm getting mildly panic-y about my applications that are due next month.

Obligatory Webster picture:


Helping to put together a dresser from IKEA. This begs for an LOLCats style caption, doesn't it?

So, in short, we're plugging away in a strange world. Prepping applications, planning a road trip across the country with a cat and all the while doing Christmas knitting.

3 comments: said...

I was actually thinking of you the other day and the rock-and-hard-place spot you are in. Perhaps you should print out those comments to keep you encouraged throughout this process.

Question: do you need any help packing? Having PCSed a few times -- I'd say that I qualify as a master mover. Being that I am Jewish... I'll make sure you eat, too. I feed our UPS man, for pete's sake. It's sick. lol.


Cookie said...

Oh Hai!

Not weird at all. Being reassured that you're doing what is best for you (and the little kitty man) is always going to help you through hard/icky times. It's not like most of us can be there to reassure you and help you pack.

I know it's weird right now, but sometimes that's life. We all go through weird times in our lives. Then we get to look back on those weird times and feel good that we got through them without needing bail money. ;^)

I'm still thinking you and Webster and hope you're both hanging in there.


Holly S. said...

No, it would not be weird.

In my previous job, I kept a file in a drawer with a smiley face label and whenever someone would write me an encouraging letter, it went into the file. On rough days, I'd pull it out and read the letters. I highly recommend this.