Monday, September 10, 2007

The Indignity of Tuna Fish.

Let me lay out several points which may help to make this rant more coherent.

1. I hate anything fishy- I don't eat fish or shellfish or anything that normally live in water- I just don't like it.
2. This Island is out to get me; it is trying to bring me down in any way possible, and it has now resorted to playing dirty.

Okay... To continue. I am once again a poor college student. Not only that, I am a poor college student in this horrible place where the cost of groceries is astronomically high, so I can't actually afford to eat meat. All I can afford is, well.... cans of tuna- which is highly reprehensible because I hate the stuff, but it's all I can afford, so I drown the tuna in mayonnaise and relish in order to try not to taste it.

I'm normally a pretty healthy eater. In fact Mr. Ranger Man was just today teasing me because I was coming home from my job at the Kayak shop, wearing tie-dye and eating granola... well, you get the picture. My roommates eat stuff like Velveeta and other really processed stuff, and I just can't brin myself to do it. Back home I'm all about the farmer's markets and as fresh as possible.

So today, when I am opening my horrid can of tuna, right on the top where I can't miss it is this reproaching taunt I am sure straight from this awful Island... my tuna in a can would be good until 2011. That is what, four years from now? yuck. Just thinking about the preservatives or whatever the heck they did to that fish that would let it keep (unrefrigerated) in a can for four years made me queasy... Not only is it bad enough that I have to eat the stuff almost every day, now it's going to make fun of me too, and draw attention to the fact that it is an awful food that will never go bad?

But - I did not let this stinkin' Island get me down... I said to the Island- "you know what, Island? This may not be normal for me, but it's what I've got now and I'm going to deal with it, so you're going to have to deal with me. So bugger off and leave me alone!" And yes, this was out loud... and the day is only halfway over.

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