The Life and Times of a Butterfly Wife: More on people who get it
Butterfly Wife posted this yesterday about being around "people who get it," and I really liked it. I think this is one of the major difficulties being a girlfriend, or probably being a spouse who doesn't stay near base during a deployment. When Ranger Man is deployed and I meet new people- I purposefully don't tell them I have a boyfriend unless they point-blank ask (I can't lie about it, right?). And then, I try to give the least amount of information possible. "Yes I have a boyfriend." "No, he's not here right now." "He's away for a little while." "Darn it all, he's in the Army, he's deployed." Because when that finally comes out- that's when you get the look.
There's one of two looks. The first I think I've already talked about- it's the "You must be a slutty barracks whore, you can't be too lonely" look, and the second is the pity look. I think the pity look is worse... It's the "I have no idea what you're going through and it must be terrible. Why on Earth would you choose to put yourself through that?" look. I really hate the look.
I can't say that too many people have tried to tell me that they know what I'm going through- although occassionally a girlfriend will liken it to some disagreement they are having with their live-in significant other, and THAT makes me want to scream... but for the most part, I get the pity look or the slut look... so I try not to tell anyone.
Which brings me to the one good thing about this Island. Not only are my classes great- but most everyone in my classes actually DO understand. Half of my classes are active duty servicemen and women. There's one wife and one pseudo-girlfriend (who sort of gets it). I still don't volunteer that I'm a Ranger girlfriend... but the few people that I have told have been really great. I don't live on base, I can't go to the commissary or the PX and feel like I'm not the only one in the world going through Army Life, but I get a little bit of understanding in class. That's nice. So, things could be worse I guess. Plus, Ranger Man is still non-deployable for four more months. Thank goodness for that.
Ranger Man called me this morning (which he doesn't usually get to do, so it was a great surprise), and I said guess what- a week from now, you won't have to call me to talk to me! Yay! One more week...