Saturday, April 5, 2008


Usually, when people describe me they use words like "patient" and "strong." Ranger Man wouldn't use any of those words. In fact, he treats me like I'm about to break - well, especially lately.

I was thinking about this the other day. There is such a disparity between the way the rest of the world sees me and the way he sees me. It's because he sees me more like I see me. I've never hid anything from him (well, except during his deployment, but that's different!), and especially through all of the stuff lately, he's been right there seeing (hearing) the good the bad and the ugly. And as a consequence, strong is not a word that he would ever use to describe me. On the other hand, the people that I go to school with and the people I work with have maybe noticed that I've been a bit quieter and more reserved, but they don't know that anything is going on. I let Ranger Man in on everything, and I just think that's interesting. I'm not sure that the thought has gotten any further developed than that. And I'm not sure how things are going to change once we don't have a phone relationship and can have an in person relationship. But I think the phenomenon is interesting. I tried to explain it to him, that I always get through everything, that it's not always pretty on my end, but that I always prevail and no one usually sees the not-pretty... it just seemed like an interesting phenomenon to me.

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