I'm really hoping that being able to leave after this semester is some sort of Karmic retribution for all the crappy things that have happened while I've been on this horrid little Island. It would work, it would be payback in full...
but damn, I don't know if I can keep rolling with the punches much longer. It feels like those punches are coming from a Gracie or something (and I am kind of upset that I'm making mma references)
My mom's decided to get snarky with me. I really don't want to get into all of it, but I feel like it's completely unfounded, not to mention she kind of gave up her bitchy rights when she ruined me life. Literally. My PhD hopes are officially over. Thanks mom.
I mean, I understand that I'm allowing myself to be this affected and so part of it is my problem and if I couldn't deal with this, then maybe it wasn't the right decision after all. I know that. That doesn't mean she has the right to be bitchy to me. In an email, no less. That does not give her the right to exacerbate the situation. I need some support, dammit!
I don't know what I'm going to do about it. I'm suppressing the desire to really hurt her, like she hurt me. I know exactly how to do it... but I know that would be bad. I have typed out what I really want to say to her, but I still think that it's counterproductive because all it's going to do is make her feel guilty for doing something she thinks is right, and I won't feel better, I'll just feel badly for making her feel badly. That doesn't accomplish anything. But if I continue in the not doing anything vein, then I've reinforced her arguments that I'm not talking to her. (hello, I did make overtures, she's the one that stopped talking to me, thankyouverymuch). so I'm waiting. and trying to not be so pissed off.
I could really use some confirmation about going to Georgia next month. At this point, if they take that away from me... things are going to get really ugly.
On a side note, I don't think I've ever sworn in this blog before, and I totally just blew that out of the water. Can you tell I'm angry? Ranger Man would be proud...