Monday, June 16, 2008

Off Again

I am officially still going to Georgia. Yay!

I don't think anyone understands why it is important for me to go. My parents, his parents- shoot, even him... They think that I should be going back to stay with my family and ... do what, just wait for him to come back?

I don't understand why I wouldn't go to Georgia. We knew that he was going to be deployed while I was there, we didn't think it would be right away, but we knew it would happen. I knew that even without a deployment he would be gone on TDY most of the time anyway. So, this is only different in that he won't be there right away when I get there. Okay. big deal? not so much. I can deal without furniture etc for a while- I've done it oftentimes before and I can do it now.

Moving to Georgia means moving forward with my life and not standing still or, worse going backward. Moving to where my family is means going back to the job that made me realize I wanted to go to grad school so I wouldn't have to be anyone's copy bitch any more, and that I wouldn't have any punk-ass little construction workers asking how their "favorite little secretary" was doing. Seriously? Secretary? I was the one that decided if their particular machine was going to be scheduled to work the next day or not. Yeah... not so much the secretary. Gr. I would go back to that job because I know that I could and I know I would get paid decently and it was in all honesty not a bad job, but it wasn't a career. I want a career. Sitting around on one side of the country waiting for who knows how long for Ranger Man to come back so I can move to the other side of the country just doesn't sound like fun to me. And that's not even taking into consideration that I don't really feel like I have a home left, right?

Also, through all the stuff that has been happening all year, I've had this mindset that once I got to Georgia, everything would be fine. Getting to Georgia meant that everything would be OK. When I thought I wasn't going to get to go to Georgia, it totally freaked me out. How was everything going to be find if I couldn't get there?

But I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world, and he may not understand why it is important to me but he does get that it is important to me. And so he's doing everything he can to make it happen and I think that is absolutely amazing of him.

I promise, sometime in the near future I will explain why I call him Ranger Man. Well, besides the obvious. There is a story behind it.

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