Thursday, January 10, 2008


Sleeping sucks.

You know what is interesting though- you can tell, people that have bad dreams like me- there's a certain look.

I had a boyfriend- hereafter to be referred to only as the Stupid Firefighter. He and I were in a class together when I for a short time thought I wanted to be a paralegal- long story. Anyways- he had bad dreams too... I think that was most of the reason that we were together, we were the same kind of crazy. It was kind of a crazy aphrodisiac, knowing that for once, someone didn't look at me with pity or like I was a loon... Someone who totally understood the sick feeling that lingers all of the following day, and someone who for once completely understood why there are many nights that I am terrified just to go to sleep. There was definitely a look- and every once in a while you see it in other people. It's more than the baggy eyed, haggard regular insomnia look- it's more hollow, and haunted. Because it replays over and over again... there's a look. I have that look today.

Oh, and about the Stupid Firefighter- lets just say that the same kind of crazy is overrated, and I'd rather have someone who can sleep through the night... And who even sleepy and bleary eyed at two in the morning will get up and check for bad guys for me when I'm convinced that they're still after me when I wake up. That's priceless. Plus- that's kind of Ranger Man's specialty, the whole checking for bad guys thing- I'm a lucky girl.

And until he can do that on a regular basis- I'm stuck not sleeping for a while, I guess.

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